by Grower

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released September 2, 2015

Recorded at The Headroom in 2015
Mixed at Hazel House by Eric Muth with Wyatt Oberholzer
Engineered by Eric Muth
Mastered by Alex Garcia-Rivera at Mystic Valley Studios

Photography by Adrian Lozer
Layout by Max Stern

Thanks to John Sepa and Travis Arterburn who helped write a lot of these songs. Thanks to Kyle Pulley, Joe Reinhardt, Drew Taurisano, and everyone else at The Headroom for all their help. Thanks to Adrian Lozer, Max Stern, Alex Garcia-Rivera, Dan Anderson, Ruben Polo, Mark Walsh, Ben Johnson, Nick Fanelli, Pete Pie, Dan Kloza, Jake Cooley, Anthony Pellechio. Thanks to Ben Schmidt, Kian Sorouri, Bill Rooney, Paul Brown, and everyone who ever lived with us at Hazel House for putting up with noise. Thanks to lovechild, Deathdealer, Kids, Soul Glo, Disinterest, Mount Thrashmore, Golden Tea House, and everyone else we played with and everyone who let us play or sleep in their home.

Grower is:
Mike Walsh
Dave Zisser
Wyatt Oberholzer
Eric Muth
Joe Hoban



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Grower Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

We rarely answer our emails. growerphilly@gmail.com

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Track Name: Pulp
Bring shock, bring awe, but say nothing new. Stick to your talking points and wait for your cues and shut your fucking mouth when I'm talking to you, because I want to get off on all the wide-eyed idiots looking up at me. I want to be the king of everything I see. If you're not saying it louder than everyone else, you might as well not speak at all, because it's all about the volume and not the fucking content. All blatant lies and half truths. All talking heads and refuse. Your mindless talk is dead. You talk and talk in circles, never get to the point. Regurgitate, reiterate. It all means nothing to me. Your words don't hold their fucking weight. Get out of my face.
Track Name: Dwell
Look me in the eye. Tell me I'm alright. Feed me pills. Kill all that's left inside. Keep telling me lies. Put your mind to rest. Tomorrow will be fine. Look me in the eye. Growing weaker. I wear apathy on the outside. Growing demons. It's darker, more sinister, inside my head. Going nowhere. I've spent my fucking life wishing all the good I've done could break every bone of every skeleton in every closet of my home.
Track Name: Natalie Tolstoy
I force the silence. I keep my distance. I hold your stare in my dreams, but I'll bite my tongue till it bleeds. Your fragile pride trapped behind these walls, hopelessly grasping at titles you ain't earned at all. Pursed lips and condescension won't restore your past. You're not your past. You're not your title. You're not the image in your head. You won't find company in all the shit that you save while your used up body rots in a grave. So take comfort in all the shit you own, because we all die and when we do we die alone. You are the words you leave behind.
Track Name: Burn
My tongue ain't worth the words that it sends hissing through my teeth. My eyes ain't worth the visions haunting in my sleep. I keep quiet. I stay in the dark. I am one with my walls. I exist to fall apart. My home is barren. My walls are bare. My mind is blank. My thoughts are clear. My fate is to be forgotten. I'll burn out and leave only empty smoke behind.
Track Name: Cringe
Does my voice make you angry? Does it make you cringe? Because I'm the scab that you constantly pick away, the stubborn reminder of those you've left behind. Does my face run chills down your spine? Do you understand that their pain is mine? Because I'm the voice for every forgotten cell, the force behind every haunting specter. Does my voice make you angry? Does it make you cringe? Does my face run chills down your spine? Good. So cringe and feel the chill, once for every soul you've killed.
Track Name: Chaotic
Awaken eyes in constant motion but barely alive. Unfocused time. Chaotic waves in the walls. Can't take my mind from my calloused feet and loss of sleep, because I spend my nights waiting for life to let me down. To let me go. To let me rest.
Track Name: Expendable
If you want blood on my hands, then I'll make it my own. You can't pick and choose which edge of the sword you condone. Take them out, one by one, and make sure you're the last. Throw their lifeless bodies out with the trash. Cut out the cancer and sever the rotting limbs. Left with just a torso to repent for your eternal sins. Condemn me. Erase me. I don't want any part of this. If violence is defendable and everyone's expendable, then make me the first one to go.
Track Name: Paranoid
Every edge in this town will take your head the second you drop your guard. Every face in this room will leave you for dead, begging for mercy in your own backyard. Check your act and watch your back. If you can't make up your mind, you're not gonna survive. If you can't pick up the pieces, you're not gonna survive. If you're not made of stone, you're not gonna survive. Stiffen your lips and set straight your eyes, because when you start trusting, you're not gonna survive. Keep your arms at your sides. Keep your feet in a line. Keep your tongue in your teeth, or you're not gonna survive. Straighten up your spine or find a place to hide. If you go out on your own, you're not gonna survive.
Track Name: Clean
When you only need one thing, there's no respite from your nights alone. From your screaming blood. From your chemical home. Tear your skin, your body limb from limb. Live in sin. Feel it's claws in your flesh. Feel the hole in your chest. Feel your body screaming for death. Your judgement? It leaves me wanting. Don't think of this as a slow suicide; I'm just trying to feel nothing. I wish my world was as flat as yours, so I could just roll the fuck off of it.
Track Name: Osage
When you stomp down and feel the bones snap beneath your feet, do you feel the rush? Do you feel the hate? Do you have a conscience? Can you sleep? Do you look your children's eyes and tell them you protect and serve? Do they believe you? I fucking hope not.
Track Name: Joseph Marino
Take your fucking humor to the suicide lines. Take your fucking panic to their mothers' cries. Take your fucking idols and set them ablaze. Tell your fucking god that you've got hell to raise. Your neck ain't worth a strand of the rope that strung up those shattered lives. Take all the nails of words you've said and stick them in your fucking eyes. Let your rivers run with blood. Let the locusts devour every crop that's grown inside your head. Let the sulfur set fire to the demons sleeping in your bed. You're starved for validation. You're starved for consecration. Nothing is left in your hands. Fuck all the prayers to your saints, your life's consumed by hate. Your mind is rotted by faith. Take your fucking idols and set them ablaze. Tell your fucking god that you've got hell to raise. You are a dying breed.
Track Name: Trav's Song
Climb higher, only to find the pile's grown. Create the illusion you'll keep anything you own. I fell for a fairytale. I fell for the American Dream. So paint the prettiest picture you want, I've already lost my future. Take the roof from my head. Take the clothes from my back. Take my will to survive. Take my will to react. Take the rest from my eyes. Take the strength from my bones. Take what's left of my mind. Leave me broke and alone.
Track Name: Bleach
I see my future in thin legs in shadows. I see my face in the grime in the gutters. No one in the mirror, all I see is a coffin. I see no life in the light in my windows. I see no reason to hide behind shutters. Bleach my skull and let my body go numb. There's nothing left to run from.
Track Name: Reaper
This is the face of all the words you've perverted. This is the voice of all the lives you deserted. I am the shadow in the corner of your eye. I am the reaper on the morning you die. I am the taste of all the blood in your mouth. I am your demons waiting to come out. I am every bump in the night you hear. I am your greatest fear. I am the hammer just waiting to drop. I am the flood that can't be stopped. I am Judas. I am Barabbas. I am your stoning at the hands of the masses. I am the jail filled with your wrongly imprisoned. I am the needle bringing blood to your children. I am the eye of justice you misled. I am the noose lowered over your head. I am all that you hate. I am all that you love. I am Satan below you and your savior above.
Track Name: My Throne
Suffocate in silence while the world bears witness, but could care less. Trapped in a cage in my skull. Fragments of thoughts half full, pushing to make them null. I sit on a throne locked in the only empty room in my head, swinging bottles at the voices that are wishing me dead. I'm keeping count of all the useless fucking words that I've said, because they're the ones that won't let me out. Nothing is tempting. Everything is preempted. Certain self-destruction is all I'm preventing. I stay as far from emotion as the world will allow.